Inaugural Post: Corrupting The Youth

So I work for a LARP company. We run camps for kids age 6-16, and have a weekly tabletop RPG night for older kids, which I recently took over. Our group is mostly 15-19, with one 13-year-old.

The company has its own system in beta, but no one likes it. It's like pulling teeth to get the kids to focus, which is fine because they have a great time hanging out, but we're all there to roleplay. We had a few one shots of my game Bubblegum Berserk which is hopefully going to be finished soon, but I wanted to start a consistent campaign. I bring 3 systems I like: Dungeon Crawl Classics, Masks (an apocalypse world superhero game), and LAMENTATIONS OF THE FLAME PRINCESS. I describe them to them. My only description of LotFP is "It's not for everyone, but it's really simple and it's my favorite system. More importantly, it's metal as fuck." The kids voted unanimously for LotFP. My withered black heart fluttered.

Next session we start running The Pale Lady by Zzarchov Kowalski, which I chose because it's rather short and self-contained. If they decided they didn't like it, it wouldn't be too hard to finish quickly and switch gears back to another system. It bears mentioning that the game is being played at R-rated levels. They're not looking at the dicks in the R&M book, they don't know their spells come from a book called Vaginas Are Magic, we're not using the Black Goat Perversion spell, etc.

Campaign Date: March 20, 1630 CE
Location: the fictional village of Rosewood in Northeastern England, a small settlement built around an abbey.

When the game starts, they're digging the 17th century England atmosphere, which is grimy, wet, and grey, and they take shelter from an oncoming storm at an inn in a roadside hamlet near a cloister on a hill. After warming themselves and grabbing a pint from the innkeeper, and one of our party (playing a Lucky Idiot) wrestling the goat out back because he wanted milk, they talk to a nun who's soaked and near the fire. She tells them she's getting the hell out of town, and if they know what's good for them, they will too. That something is coming at night and is going to do great evil. They go to investigate the cloister where the story hooks are supposed to emerge. They get some story info, but more importantly our Cleric, who has decided to be an intersex priest of Odin (this kid is genderfluid and awesome), starts preaching to the nuns. 17th century nuns do not like this, and get ropes with which to whip the Cleric for their blasphemy. The group's wizard, a first time roleplayer, decides to cast Chaosgoat Law from Vaginas Are Magic.

Basically, Baphomet appears to adjudicate a conflict like an extraplanar adult among children. This results in our Cleric's hand being chopped off and the party members who backed them up being exiled from holy Catholic ground lest they take magical damage when the nun wins the case. The nuns are slaughtered by the party. I put on Nunslaughter as soon as this begins, because it's a moral imperative. This is the end of our first session.

Enjoy some Nunslaughter, and really savor those lyrics.

Not only is this a spiritually sublime experience, I'm getting fucking paid for this.

Fuck yeah.


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