Weird Magic Reference Material for Spells That Are Fucking Metal

Spells That Are Fucking Metal are written for the Weird Magic System first published in Vaginas Are Magic . Here's the basic info from that book so you don't have to flip back to it all the time.

MISCAST TABLE (D12)
1-6
Effect custom to the specific spell.See the spell description for details.
7
An extradimensional entity has slipped into this reality through a hole created by the casting attempt. Treat as if the Summon (linked to Ramanan Silvaranjan's generator for your convenience) spell has been cast, with the creature having Hit Dice equal to the level of the spell originally attempted +1d4. The creature is automatically out of control.
8
An entirely different spell has been cast. Randomly determine what spell was cast from the campaign spell list (reroll if the intended spell comes up) with a 1d10 effective caster level. If the spell requires a specific target or target area, determine this randomly.
9
Uncontrolled extradimensional radiation floods an area equal to the intended spell level x 20’ radius. Every biological creature of at least one Hit Die (except the caster) suffers 1d6 damage. The sum of the damage done is pooled together, and this pool of damage heals the caster up to maximum hit points, but all remaining damage beyond that is subtracted back from the caster’s hit points.
10
The misappropriation of magical energy causes time to slide ahead: 

If play is in “slow time” (wilderness exploration, staying put in a particular location for healing or research purposes, or any such gameplay where time passes at a great rate), then 1d6 days for every spell level passes instantly. All characters within 20’ staying in the same place the entire time. Any environmental effects of the character being in that spot unmoving for that many days are instantly applied (for instance, if they are in an unforgiving tundra, they will suffer the results of 1d6 days of cold exposure). The characters are then affected as if they have not eaten or slept in that entire time. 

If play is in “medium time” (such as dungeon exploration or any game play where time is measured in 10 minute turns), then 1d6 turns per spell level pass instantly. All characters within 20’ stay in the same place the entire time. Light sources are expended, encounter checks are made, and any effect of the characters being in that spot unmoving for that period of time are instantly applied.

If play is in “fast time” (such as combat or any game play where time is measured in six-second rounds), every biological being within 20’, including the caster, rolls 1d6 per spell level, and is effectively paralyzed for that many rounds.
11
Odd and alien light floods a 100’ area, destructive and harmful to physical life, but so strange that biological bodies don’t know the proper response to the harm suffered. Bodies therefore guess at how they are supposed to respond to the malignant force, deciding to “remember” the last damage suffered and recreate that to express the harm caused by the light. Every character within the area re-suffers the last damage inflicted upon them. If the specific damage suffered cannot be remembered, then surely the foe that caused it can be; assume maximum damage was suffered. If even that cannot be remembered, the character suffers 1d20 points of damage. If a character has never before suffered hit point damage and is subject to this effect, it does no damage and instead doubles their maximum (and current) hit point amount.
12
Microscopic organisms floating in the air are engorged with strange energies, growing large enough to be seen and emitting glowing hues. They pass through all matter freely and devour all perishables (food, oil, torches, ammunition, gunpowder, basically any item individually accounted for and expended in a character’s inventory, money and other such valuables excepted) within a 10’ per spell level radius.

CHANGES FROM TRADITIONAL SPELL SYSTEMS
This magic system uses the same magic rules of LotFP: Weird Fantasy Role-Playing (or those of your favorite Traditional RPG system) with the following differences:

THERE ARE NO SPELL LEVELS
All spells are considered equally difficult, and the level of the spell’s power is determined by the
caster’s level. The caster does not have to cast a spell at full power; she may decide to cast it at a lower level of power (a 5th level caster choosing to cast a spell as if she was a 3rd level caster, for instance).

BEGINNING SPELLS
Magic-Users begin with three randomly determined spells from the entire spell list of the campaign. There is no Read Magic.

PREPARING SPELLS EACH DAY
Magic-Users can prepare/memorize one different spell per caster level. These can be prepared from the caster’s own spellbook, or any understood spell scrolls or spellbooks created by other Magic-Users.

TRANSCRIBING SPELLS
All spellbooks are written in a human language. There is no “magical language,” although spellbooks are often written in a personalized code. Comprehend Languages will always allow the reading of a spellbook or scroll. To adjust the old rules to the new paradigm, for purposes of spell transcription (and all other research-type activities), consider spells to be 3rd level.

CASTING SPELLS
Magic-Users has one spell slot per caster level that they can use with no risk or penalty. The Magic-User can cast any number of prepared spells in any combination up to their casting limit before they must prepare spells again. For example, they can cast every spell they have prepared once, or one spell multiple times, or any combination thereof, as long as they don’t hit their casting limit.

One may not cast a spell after delaying an action in a combat round. Note that in the spell description, the “subject” is the direct target of the spell.


RISKY CASTING
Spells can be cast under conditions which risk catastrophe. When one of the following conditions is met, the spell may still be attempted. However, the caster must make a saving throw vs. Magic. On a failure, roll on the Miscast table. Spells cannot be ended early on a Miscast. Every additional valid condition means a –1 penalty on the saving throw.

  • Casting a spell after the usual level-based casting limit has been reached. 
  • Casting a spell that has not been prepared that day (this can only be attempted with a spell that is in the caster’s own spellbook).
  • Casting a spell that is being read directly from an understood scroll or spellbook, that is not by the caster’s own hand, that has not been prepared that day.
  • Casting a spell while carrying beyond the safe level of encumbrance (Light encumbrance for humans)
  • Casting a spell the same round as taking damage (non-instantaneous spells may still be affected after casting, but before the spell takes effect!) 

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