Session Report: My Name's Garrison

Campaign Date: May 1st, 1630 CE
Location: Abingdon, England
Cast: Bartholome the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Mystery the Specialist, Peter the True XXV the Fighter, Seigjagt Crowe the Magic-User

After destroying the inn and escaping any and all consequences (presumably by blaming it all on the insane Halfling who escaped the chaos), the party decided to check around town and see if there was any, y'know, hero-type stuff to do. They learned from a young man that there was an old woman with a house near the outskirts who hadn't been heard from in a while. She normally had others do favors for her, deliver groceries, that kind of thing, but had been mysteriously absent.

The party gathered themselves up and went to her house, finding a simple yet dilapidated shack. Poking around, they saw signs of activity, and heard something moving inside. The door and all the windows had been shut tight, so there was no option but to try the front door. Hadrian briefly entertained entering through the chimney to gain the element of surprise, but thought better of it.

Knocking on the door, they heard the moving halt, then resume shortly thereafter. A man's voice rudely asked who was there. This not being what the group had expected, they hoisted their arms and replied that they'd come looking for the old woman. They were told that she no longer lived there and they should move along. The party's reply was to come out, they had them surrounded. The men agreed. Stalling for time a bit, they started a fire and thick smoke started issuing from the chimney. When the party grew more insistent, a musket fired from inside, cracking through the door and causing Peter the True the XXV to sustain a gut wound.

The party responded by breaking in the door and one of the windows, which caused the two inhabitants of the shack to surrender themselves. The two, wearing disheveled Royalist uniforms, disarmed themselves and knelt down in front of the shack. Hadrian investigated inside, finding a fire set and stoked by dry leather boots, creating a large amount of smoke. Searching closer, he found some loose floorboards beneath a crusty pile of uniforms and clothing. Inside the floor compartment were a chest and the body of an old woman, partially decayed.

Bringing the chest outside, they opened it while keeping guns trained on their adversaries. Inside was a mound of silver coins, as well as a parchment which proclaimed it to be funds for the garrison in charge of defending the surrounding area. The party interrogated the prisoners as to their identities, to which one responded that his name was Garrison and it was his silver, as one could plainly see. They had no idea what an old woman was doing in the floorboards, either. The party was skeptical of his true name, but were stymied by the explanation that his father's name was Gary. While trying to puzzle out how stupid the alleged Garrison thought they were to expect them to believe something like this, Garrison took advantage of their befuddlement to reach within his clothes, retrieve a hidden flintlock, and fire another shot into Peter the True.

The party's responded in kind. Peter the Lucky Idiot flexed his abs mightily, forcing the embedded musket ball out with incredible force, striking Garrison who was then finished off by a strike from Bartholome's musket stock. The other prisoner made no move and placed all the blame on Garrison.

At this point, several mounted soldiers dressed in similarly worn-down Royalist uniforms arrived, accompanied by a few on foot farther behind who had circled around the shack. The leader of the detachment introduced himself as Lawrence and amicably explained the situation: they were the garrison, the two inside the cabin had been guarding their pay and supplies, and the erstwhile Garrison was in fact named Ed and had gotten what he deserved for his dishonesty and the audacity to attack folks demanding a simple explanation for a body and a chest of silver. No one, however, had any idea where the old woman's body had come from, just that they had been using an empty shack as storage for their pay and supplies. They would be taking the chest and their living friend with them, thank you very much.

Seeing they had little choice, the party agreed, and the soldiers rode off with the chest and the body. The party then decided it was time to find the person in charge of the area, and were given directions to the estate of the local lord, Sir John Hotham, Baronet of Scorborough. Announcing the purpose of their visit to be the purchase of land, they were granted an audience. They explained that they had an interest in purchasing the land on which the burned inn had lain, as well as that of the old woman's shack, since it was no longer in use and they had silver to burn. As there was no one with a claim on the land who could also afford the taxes, they were given ownership for the low, low price of 700 sp, on the condition that they would pay taxes and levies on completion of the inn they planned to build on the foundations of the previous, ill-fated establishment. Details of the encounter with the suspicious Royalists were also given, prompting the Baronet's interest in investigating the issue in the future.

The session ended with the PCs departing and discussing plans and logistics of building an inn, which they immediately invested 1,500 sp in out of an estimated 10,000 sp total required to build an inn of comparable value, to be completed over the course of 6 months to 1 year. God willing, it would not see the patronage of either deranged Halflings or drunken adventurers.


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