Session Report: Lamentations of the Fashion Princess

Campaign Date: July 15-August 20 , 1630 CE
Location: Scarborough, the Baronet's estate and the surrounding countryside
Cast: Hernando de Pieza (Nic's Fighter), Roda (Ross's Halfling), Mystery (Bill's Specialist), Peter the True XXVII (Peter's Fighter), Carjek, "Mind of Light" (Anders's Magic-User), Bemuk (Brady's Dwarf), Ferdinand (Chance's Magic-User), and a few thus far nameless hirelings.

This session concludes a 3-part adventure in the Barrow of the Old King. Here are part 1, part 2, and part 3.

The very first action of the session was to get the fuck out of the barrow. Having killed the undead king after he appeared as the result of a random encounter roll and procured the silver ring by chopping off his finger, they promptly pillaged the hell out of the upper level, wanting for the time being to have absolutely nothing to do with what else might lay below. The treasure haul was fairly impressive: 32 semi-precious stone pendants, assorted fine clothing and jewelry, three gold-plated skeletons, several antique swords, one circlet made of bone worn by the king, one hollow iron soldier within which was two goddamn tons of mercury from the moat of the bone castle which had claimed two PCs' lives, sealed inside the statue with salvaged wax as a makeshift jar. It turns out mercury is incredibly heavy, about 840 lbs per cubic foot, of which they had 2.5 ft³, inside a very heavy iron statue.

All of this was in a wagon pulled by one horse.

Calculating the horse-drawn wagon's encumbrance, it turned out it could carry a whole hell of a lot, even several heavy items taking up multiple slots. This shocked the Ref, but it did avoid the annoying necessity of making multiple trips back and forth to the dungeon, spending a bunch of time on logistics and random encounter rolls. The moment it arrived at the city limits of Scarborough, however, it died on the spot from exhaustion.

Returning to town, they claimed their reward of 700sp each from Quinn, Hotham's dwarf castellan. After selling all the mercury and skeletons, each party member made a haul of about 2,250 sp, causing nearly all of them to level up and give them the opportunity to carouse during the haven turn. Many of them chose to spend a significant amount, and chaos ensued from carousing. Nothing on the level of the last time, but Peter embarrassed himself before the whole of Scarborough, gaining a reputation and receiving no xp from carousing, Bemuk narrowly avoided losing 30% of his gear in a stupor, and Roda, Ferdinand and Arcturus made a bet with a banker for 600sp that they could find evidence of savage elves. Carjek and Hernando set off on an unrelated journey south to investigate an old battlefield near Gloucester. They found the burial sites of several notable knights from the battle. The purposes of this investigation are not immediately clear.

The party then spent an extremely long time buying really cool-looking gear. Hernando bought a blackened suit of plate armor and a shield with a sculpted skull, Arcturus bought a white suit of plate with a matching rose-engraved shield, Carjek bought a set of short swords with blue anodized blades and engraved flame patterns and elaborate leather armor, and Peter bought some anodized purplish blue chainmail.

The haven turn concluded, they checked around for possible adventuring work in the town. Due to Peter's reputation and the fact they had returned to town with several strange skeletons made many of the townsfolk reluctant to deal with them. They were able to find a rumor of a young girl collapsing into a strange coma-like state with no apparent cause. The girl was the daughter of a close friend of Quinn's, and he would consider it a favor as well as cover expenses of aiding her.

While investigating the girl, Elyse, they determined that the coma was likely not magical, that it was not hypothermic (Roda, the Winter Halfling had some experience with that condition), but was perhaps related to chemical fumes from working her mother's dying business. Mystery's Alchemy knowledge led her to believe that many of the dying chemicals were safe, but it could not be ruled out.

Thus, the session ended, one half Lamentations of the Fashion Princess, one half Lamentations of the Forensic Detective. This mini-adventure is continued in How to Have Your Pie and Get Away With Murder Too .

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