Blood, Death, Satan & Metal

Campaign Date:  May 4th, 1630 CE Location:  The wilderness around Abingdon & a nearby Dwarf tomb Cast:  Bartholome the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Mystery the Specialist, Peter the True XXV the Fighter, Seigjagt Crowe the Magic-User After repelling the ambush by the deserters of the His Majesty's Royal Army of the Abingdon garrison, the party determined that something must be done about a large armed force which was unafraid to attack a town and a settlement of refugees in order to protect their secrecy and ill-gotten goods. They approached Sir John Hotham, Baronet. They told Sir Hotham of the ambush and that they knew that it had been executed by the same band of deserters they had encountered previously and determined to be guilty of old-lady murder. Hotham agreed with them that this matter must be dealt with urgently and agreed to send a detachment of 10 of his personal force, provisioned with horse, armor and musket. They set off immediately in pursuit using the inf

I love LotFP's Weird Magic system. Vaginas Are Magic! changed the way I think about spells, and the way my players do too: they’re very, very thoughtful about the circumstances in which they want to use it and terrified of the possibility of spell failure. VAM's spells and the ones I’ve written in that style are grand in scale, horrific in effect, and dangerous in execution. The system’s greatest strength is that they’re bizarre, situational, and reflective of an unkind, fractured, deadly universe. In a way, it’s also its greatest weakness. What if you need a more “standard” spell effect? Should a Magic-User have Magic Missile as well as Wicked Fields Of Calm ? Will a character want to cast Holy Flames of the Fire Spitter if they can cast Fireball instead? How do more traditional spellcaster abilities like identifying, dispelling and enchanting work? To answer the first and second questions, well, I say that most traditional spells pale in comparison to wei

Campaign Date: The night of May 2nd, 1630 CE Location: Abingdon, England and surrounding areas Cast:  Bartholome the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Mystery the Specialist, Peter the True XXV the Fighter, Seigjagt Crowe the Magic-User After wrapping up our Night of the Slashers side-story, we returned to our heroes in Abingdon, where they had recently begun work on their inn. Having purchased the property from the Baronet John Hotham, they began work clearing the foundations. When it grew too late to work, they joined the refugees of Rosewood in their tent encampment around the city. They were awoken in the night by a crash, followed by screams and general panic. A lantern had been broken in the middle of the camp, causing a tent to go up in flames. The party quickly scrabbled to get their gear and determine the cause of the fire. They heard a succession of gunshots from outside the camp. By the time the party had rallied, the refugees were in total chaos. The first priority was

Campaign Date: May 1st, 1630 CE Location: Abingdon, England Cast:  Bartholome the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Mystery the Specialist, Peter the True XXV the Fighter, Seigjagt Crowe the Magic-User After destroying the inn and escaping any and all consequences (presumably by blaming it all on the insane Halfling who escaped the chaos), the party decided to check around town and see if there was any, y'know, hero-type stuff to do. They learned from a young man that there was an old woman with a house near the outskirts who hadn't been heard from in a while. She normally had others do favors for her, deliver groceries, that kind of thing, but had been mysteriously absent. The party gathered themselves up and went to her house, finding a simple yet dilapidated shack. Poking around, they saw signs of activity, and heard something moving inside. The door and all the windows had been shut tight, so there was no option but to try the front door. Hadrian briefly entertained enter

Spoilers: if you intend to play in this module, avoid this review. I have since written a series of simple tips for Refs running this adventure, which you can read  here . The Pale Lady is an adventure written by Zzarchov Kowolski and published by Lamentations of the Flame Princess. It's about a Fae lady and her army of emaciated rabbit monsters, who kidnap firstborn children on the Vernal Equinox and force them to work on the Lady's estate as slaves. The tone is dark and ominous; there's a strong pagan vs. christian vibe and a bit of Hammer horror. It also goes without saying that there's some weirder stuff going on: it's LotFP. This adventure is a good example of that, because it has a grounded setup that includes not only historical detail but historical superstitions as well, and then builds on that sense of otherworldliness further with magical items that appear equally alien and fairy tale-inspired at the same time. Wouldn't it feel wrong to play

Campaign Date:  March 31-April 30 1630 CE Location:  Abingdon, a medium sized village to the North, between Rosewood and Leylanton With the events of the Pale Lady concluded, the party spoke to the citizens of Rosewood, who decided to abandon their town. The abductions were clearly going to be an ongoing problem, and the party seemed to have made the whole thing worse: the abbey that supported the town through their brewing had been massacred, townsfolk were dead, the inn was destroyed. They had heard of an isolated town to the North called Leylanton, rumored to have avoided the ravages of the English Civil War, which at this point had torn the country asunder and left the Royalist army battered and bedraggled, whilst bandits and deserters from both Parliamentarian and Royalist forces terrorized the country. These events did not occur until 1642 in the real world's timeline, but a combination of Referee historical error and adventure synergy (1630 is smack dab in the 30

Out Of Luck by U.S. BASTARDS Read part 1 here Campaign Date:  the night of March 20, 1630 CE Location:  Rosewood, the estate of the Pale Lady Cast:  Errick the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Ivar the Cleric, Peter the Lucky Idiot, Rose the Specialist, Seigjagt the Magic-User, Vesper the Specialist Back in the village, the group of five abominations approached the inn, where Errick and the hunter planned to make a stand. Ivar had gone mysteriously missing (his player was absent) and Rose was still off robbing the village. The two of them fought well against the attackers, killing three  before the archer was torn to pieces, and Errick killed the fourth before a series of bad rolls caused him to be killed by a bat abomination which sunk its fangs into his throat whilst gouging his eyeballs out with its claws. The bat then entered the inn, causing a panic among the townsfolk, who rushed upstairs clamoring for entrance into the fortified room. The abominat

Since I'm so far behind on session reports (they're the hardest thing to write, in my opinion), I'm grouping sessions 3-5 together into two parts. The events of these sessions all take place in a short period of time in-game, because The Pale Lady's gate to the Fae realm is only open on the night of the Vernal Equinox. Two Hunters by Wolves in the Throne Room A nice atmospheric black metal album. Good for session soundtracks. Campaign Date: the night of March 20, 1630 CE Location: Rosewood, the estate of the Pale Lady Cast: Errick the Fighter, Hadrian the Dwarf, Ivar the Cleric, Peter the Lucky Idiot, Rose the Specialist, Seigjagt the Magic-User, Vesper the Specialist After finding the portal to the Fae realm inside the coils of the creeper vine in the window of the inn, the party decided to fortify the inn. They'd gained an attachment to the innkeep, who they'd found mutilated upon awakening the morning after their arrival, and wanted to help him. Sho

Spells That Are Fucking Metal are written for the Weird Magic System first published in  Vaginas Are Magic  . Here's the basic info from that book so you don't have to flip back to it all the time. MISCAST TABLE (D12) 1-6 Effect custom to the specific spell.See the spell description for details. 7 An extradimensional entity has slipped into this reality through a hole created by the casting attempt. Treat as if the Summon (linked to Ramanan Silvaranjan's generator for your convenience) spell has been cast, with the creature having Hit Dice equal to the level of the spell originally attempted +1d4. The creature is automatically out of control. 8 An entirely different spell has been cast. Randomly determine what spell was cast from the campaign spell list (reroll if the intended spell comes up) with a 1d10 effective caster level. If the spell requires a specific target or target area, determine this randomly. 9 Uncontrolled extradimensional radiation flo

Inspired by Meshuggah, who have some of the best song titles for making spells out of.  Mind’s Mirrors No./Area Effected: All sentient creatures within line of sight Duration: 10 mins/caster level All thought travels the astral plane, to which every sentient creature is attached, although most are unaware of it. Thoughts, like souls, are bound by silver to their owners. A mirrored and unbreakable shell protects the mind from all but the most powerful forces- but there is one which feeds on them and steals them away. Its name is unknown, but it listens for opportunities and when it is called it comes to feed. This creature can bore through the shell with its claws, or tentacles, or proboscis, and take what is inside. During this process, thoughts are bound to escape, for it cannot catch them all. These thoughts pass through one another, mixing and losing their way, and sometimes resting in another mind. Mind’s Mirrors summons these creatures to feed, causing the thought