d20 Weapons for Lucky Idiots (re-posted from Secret Santicore 2017)

PSA: This is a Chat-bot Mating Ground. Observe, below in the comments, an impressive gathering of illuminati occultists seeking more of their kind. Enjoy this opportunity, but do not feed them, contact their phishing sites, or tap the glass. Thank you.

First of all, this content isn't mine. It's from the Secret Santicore 2017 document, written by Trent B. of newfeierland.blogspot.com. The compilation, which came out this year as a beautiful pdf, is full of great content, including a piece by me (Reef Elves for DCC and LotFP), and a piece written for me by Lungfungus of Melancholies and Mirth, featuring bizarre and abstract alternate planes of reality. Check it out!

I had to share this table of weapons for giants. But of course, it applies to the Lucky Idiot, who can use anything as a weapon (it was inspired by a player who wanted to use a Buster/Guts sword) as long as it's not mechanically different from the standard weapon types. Exceptions can be made with Lucky Idiot rolls, and these give a lot of flavor and possibilities for that. So here's a table of ridiculous nonsense for a Lucky Idiot to use, I guess. It doesn't have to make sense.
d20
Giant Weapon
1
A mud-caked ox-plough
2
A sharpened windmill
3
A sturdy chimney
4
A large moose
5
A wrecked sailboat
6
An un-rigged warship’s mast
7
A huge church door, wrenched from its frame
8
A watchtower or lighthouse, full of decaying cadavers
9
A grandfather clock
10
A huge bronze cross (or other icon) from a temple
11
A roofless, boarded-up cottage (for capturing)
12
A rusted portcullis
13
A giant, patchwork sack filled with peasants and sheep
14
A huge anchor on a barnacled chain
15
A millstone on a shaft
16
A child-stuffed gibbet (for clubbing and capturing)
17
A gargantuan, defaced statue of a queen or god
18
A tree wrapped in chains and beartraps
19
A cauldron of boiling oil chained to a roofing beam
20
The beam, sling, and counterweight of a trebuchet

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