Blood, Death, Satan & Metal

The saga of the Illuminati chat bots continues. Like, a lot... Oh, and I guess they're coming from Sweden on Macs running Firefox according to my analytics, at least right now. Generally they're Polish or Ukrainian on Unix. If anybody knows how to stop this traffic, let me know. Unless it algorithmically benefits me, of course. I wouldn't know, I'm a satanic warlock, not a computerist. By playing into their keyword optimization or whatever the fuck it is that they do, I have progressively escalated their engagement with the blog such that I semi-regularly get 1,000 views in a week just from bots offering membership to the Illuminati. As always, I urge you not to click their links or call their WhatsApps, not that you would.  Anyway, no more! I'm putting a captcha on comments, which I'm opposed to as a slight nuisance to humans but I'm tired of deleting these duplicate Illuminati comments (I keep the unique ones for entertainment value). Thus, I shall excis

Date: November 5, 1640   Location:  Sirenswail, Irish countryside, County Kerry, Ireland Main Cast: Shio the Acid-Burnout Alice, Gund the Amoral Magic-User, Salith the Cannibal Elf , Reynault the Fighter Supporting Cast: Helga of the Ulvenbrigaad, Harold the Mule   Previously: Our heroes destroyed the foundation of the Tower of London and fled the London guard in the style of Ye Faste & Furiousse by Thames gondola, returning to the safety of Sirenswail where they rested and spent a Haven turn. They set out in search of a mysteriously appearing statue in a cave in Ireland.   Presently: Traveling across the Irish countryside of County Kerry, the party traveled mostly without incident aside from the appearance of a red fox, which they attempted to follow but lost in the forest. This troubled them, seeming an ill omen of some sort to their minds. Gund was particularly bothered. Helga was like "whatever I'll kill it with my axe if it's a problem" and Harold was all li