Horsemeat? Raw? Are you fucking kidding me? (Sirenswail 5)

Date: Early fall 1640
Location: London
Main Cast: Shio the Alice, Gundisalvus the Magic-User, Salith the Elf
Supporting Cast: Helga of the Ulvenbrigaad, Harold the Mule

Previously: Our heroes adjusted to life on the island as Cult VIPs, spent their just rewards carousing and investing, and sought further adventure. Their queries aimed them toward the Tower of London to investigate the unexpected and suspicious imprisonment of Archbishop William Laud by Parliament for papism and overreach.

Presently: Tired from their long journey, the party sought out an inn where they might avoid notice. They found themselves in London's Southwark, a seedy and pseudo-lawless district south of the Thames at the Strident Goat Inn. Operated by a sweet old couple, Shio overpaid significantly, shelling out a gold coin each night for silence and privacy. 

After some time shopping and getting their bearings, they traveled as innocuously as possible to the Tower. Outside they found a young man about to enter and stopped him. He introduced himself as Jeremiah, a cleaner and servant in the complex. He quickly revealed himself to be none too bright, and therefore easy to exploit for information. Furthermore, his highest aspiration was to enter the priesthood, although he had been barred for his cognitive limitations, and still held his pie-in-the-sky conviction that if he could speak to the Archbishop then he would be granted a laity just like that. Despite his best efforts, he had been unsuccessful, but had information to naively share about the guards, layout and modifications made to hold Laud, which were strangely robust yet secured beyond what appeared to be a simple stained-glass door.

They parted ways and went about otherwise normal business for the day. The next day they returned, finding Jeremiah again and probing for more information. This time they learned that Laud had circulated prayer books throughout the city prior to his imprisonment, one of which Jeremiah had and shared with the party. It referenced two verses, Galatians 5:19 and 5:22, and a prayer emphasizing the necessity of total devotion to God and that one would pray "not to rest except in the Spirit of God". Fairly standard Catholic stuff. What was the big deal here, aside from petty religious distinctions?

On the third day, they ran afoul of watchmen who enforced a rule that no weapons larger than a short sword may be carried, and Shio's rapier was taken and broken and Helga's badass morningstar confiscated. Uh-oh, time to kick things into high gear and maybe get the heck out of town since, shady lodgings aside, they might soon find themselves more closely examined by the law.

Kick things into high gear they did. They found a young ferryman, Marvin, who was quickly rather twitterpated with Shio and gave them passage across the Thames, avoiding the guards on the bridge. Once across, they used a Ring of Forgetfulness Salith had found on an adventure years and years before, when she and Gund had first met. It made them appear utterly unremarkable and unmemorable, functioning more or less as a 10' radius of invisibility. They made their way to the wall of the tower with the fewest guards and tossed a grappling hook. 

Once on the roof, they scouted and saw that almost a dozen guardsmen manned the roof, including four cannoneers. They spotted a chimney and made their way quickly, as the ring had the effect of widening the radius over time, as well as an increasing electric buzzing sensation spreading throughout Salith's body as it taxed its energy. They ran another rope down the chimney and Shio and Salith headed down quickly. Gund, being a heavy man, was too large, but had a plan. He would use his Transpose cantrip to swap positions with Shio and she would shimmy down again. 

His attempt was not successful. At least, not completely. He did transpose the contents of their stomachs, which unluckily for him was some fucking raw horsemeat Shio had eaten earlier in the day for inscrutable reasons, possibly some kind of bet with Helga. Its sudden appearance in Gund's gut caused him to cramp and fall to the ground, attracting the attention of the rooftop guards, who quickly knocked him unconscious with the butt of a musket.

Inside, the others saw several slabs with restrained people with full iron helmets securing their heads, some completely still but evidently alive, some vibrating with minor convulsions, straining against their bonds. On the other side of a barred wall, Laud reclined in a chair within his small chamber.

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